The Leh Trip
We met at the airport. She looked nice. We talked about it and all seemed ok. I knew we would we better off after this trip. As we boarded the flight the guy messaged her wishing her a good trip. Why would he not stay out of her life? She was getting married to a guy she loved for 5 years and he still had to interfere.
Nevertheless I let it go. We reached Leh and had a good time. The 2 of us were there and no one else. It felt good but something was missing. I wouldn't realize it till much later. Maybe I did but I didn't want to accept it. Deep down I knew, that this would not be able to damage 5 years of my relationship. The next day she cried. She would not tell me why. I pushed her and she said she felt scared of the entire marriage agenda. I tried convincing her. That is the best I could do. Did not seem to work or maybe it partly did. Everything seemed doubtful to me. Nevertheless I gave her the pendant I got her. It looked good on her. She would wear it every single day going forward. Time and again she would convince me that nothing would ever happen in the future. Not this not any other guy never ever.
I was longing for a romantic moment, for a moment where we would come close and a moment where we would be the same way we were months and years back. She fell ill. That moment never came. I gave everything to make sure she kept well. Staying by her side day and night. Everything else seemed irrelevant then.
One of the nights I did something horrible - something that would break me even more. I checked her cell while she was asleep. I wanted to look for instances where she would speak well of me. To her friends, to her family maybe even to that guy. And I found that she had lied to me and never told me about it. The guy had dropped her one day late at night and she told me it was someone else. She even told the other guy to stick to this story in case I pinged him. Why didn't she come clean? Why could she not tell me everything? Why would she not say this to me? I kept on thinking - did something happen between the two? Was she hiding something to save our relationship? She was ill and I buried it again.
The night before we left Leh. It was our last chance to be together and have a moment. She seemed unfazed. I was longing for it. Things got ugly. She said she didn't know why she did not want to be close. She did not know why she was feeling this way? I asked her if it was because of the marriage, the situation or the guy? She said she did not know. I wish I knew what to do, I could only cry.
We were about to board the flight in the morning. I tried to confront her with the incident I found when I looked into her cell. She was devastated and was cursing me. She said it was unimportant and thought would not matter. How could you think so? Can you not tell me everything in just one go? In spite of what has happened how could you keep this from me? If you have nothing to hide then why not say it? She told me about a few more moments. Yes they were immaterial but it felt good to know. She realized it late.
We landed at Srinagar and all was well again. The guy messaged her calling her a sweetheart and she ignored. It felt good. How I wished he would never message her again. Things became normal and we went on for our engagement.
Nevertheless I let it go. We reached Leh and had a good time. The 2 of us were there and no one else. It felt good but something was missing. I wouldn't realize it till much later. Maybe I did but I didn't want to accept it. Deep down I knew, that this would not be able to damage 5 years of my relationship. The next day she cried. She would not tell me why. I pushed her and she said she felt scared of the entire marriage agenda. I tried convincing her. That is the best I could do. Did not seem to work or maybe it partly did. Everything seemed doubtful to me. Nevertheless I gave her the pendant I got her. It looked good on her. She would wear it every single day going forward. Time and again she would convince me that nothing would ever happen in the future. Not this not any other guy never ever.
I was longing for a romantic moment, for a moment where we would come close and a moment where we would be the same way we were months and years back. She fell ill. That moment never came. I gave everything to make sure she kept well. Staying by her side day and night. Everything else seemed irrelevant then.
One of the nights I did something horrible - something that would break me even more. I checked her cell while she was asleep. I wanted to look for instances where she would speak well of me. To her friends, to her family maybe even to that guy. And I found that she had lied to me and never told me about it. The guy had dropped her one day late at night and she told me it was someone else. She even told the other guy to stick to this story in case I pinged him. Why didn't she come clean? Why could she not tell me everything? Why would she not say this to me? I kept on thinking - did something happen between the two? Was she hiding something to save our relationship? She was ill and I buried it again.
The night before we left Leh. It was our last chance to be together and have a moment. She seemed unfazed. I was longing for it. Things got ugly. She said she didn't know why she did not want to be close. She did not know why she was feeling this way? I asked her if it was because of the marriage, the situation or the guy? She said she did not know. I wish I knew what to do, I could only cry.
We were about to board the flight in the morning. I tried to confront her with the incident I found when I looked into her cell. She was devastated and was cursing me. She said it was unimportant and thought would not matter. How could you think so? Can you not tell me everything in just one go? In spite of what has happened how could you keep this from me? If you have nothing to hide then why not say it? She told me about a few more moments. Yes they were immaterial but it felt good to know. She realized it late.
We landed at Srinagar and all was well again. The guy messaged her calling her a sweetheart and she ignored. It felt good. How I wished he would never message her again. Things became normal and we went on for our engagement.
Comments
Post a Comment